Prickly pear stickers and houses that explode when you clean them

So last night Lucy picked up a piece of a prickly pear cactus. Who knew that this most innocent looking cactus has tiny fine hair-like stickers that are almost invisible but hurt like a mother? [I offended myself with that statement.] Well now you do. Twenty minutes with tweezers, a bright light, cortisone cream, benadryl and helpful neighbors later, I still had a weepy child but one who could be placated with an ice cube to her hand. This morning, she's complaining that it still hurts. So off to the internet I go.

The remedy recommended by the internet is as follows: "Pull out the stickers with tweezers, Einstein."

That was it. Followed closely by: the remaining stickers will work their way out over time. So the real answer is, "Pull out the stickers with tweezers, give your child an ice cube to hold and then be prepared to provide at least 24 hours of mommy attention, including hugs and love, distraction, stickers, the Playdoh you never let her play with because it's a bleepin mess, the finger paints you never let her play with because it's a bleepin mess, a washcloth because you think it might distract her to help clean up the bleepin mess and because 4-year-old girls still think cleaning is fun, candy because you can't stand to hear any more whiny crying which by this point you think is either overkill or even a bit fake, a movie because you're starting to burn out on your needy child, followed closely by "it's going to take some time, honey; watch your movie," and finally, "Lucy, I don't want to hear about your hand anymore. I pulled out all the stickers. It will feel better later. Mommy has a few things to do." And then you return to cleaning your house, which exploded almost immediately after the power clean you just did a couple of days ago.